“Your job is to remember, to learn to remember, just that.” (excerpt from FOAL and the Angels)

FoalFoto3 PHOTOGRAPHY BY RACHEL BURCH http://www.rachelburchphotography.com/

When I woke up after this dream I was amazed, if not stunned, by the enormity and complexity of the knowledge passed on.
My mind was in a whirlpool, ooohhhh `ing at every bit of the dream I remembered.
And beside the great discovery of the importance of emotions, I felt particularly intrigued and bewildered by the fact that in the span of possibly a few minutes, I had “LIVED” 3 or 4 lives. Like in really `lived`.
But how can I put this experience into words? Because `experience` it was !
It is not possible to express the impossible by human standards.
But since this was one of the most profound dreams I ever had, of course I had to insert it in the story of FOAL and the Angels. Yet although I really tried to express it the best I could, I know that I was not able to give it justice. To give it justice, you`d have to multiply the intensity and profundity of my words by one thousand! 🙂
P.S. In this excerpt of course the subject would be not me, but `he`, that is FOAL, but, as for the rest, I reported the dream exactly as it was. To the tiniest iota !! 🙂

LITTLE DOT DREAM

He was suspended in space, watching this peculiar scene unfolding in front of his eyes in such strange landscape the like of which he had never seen before.
There were these two planes where the action was taking place. One was the “above” plane, like a station platform for arrivals and departures, and the other, the “below” plane, like possibly the Earth plane.
There were many tiny black dots coming and going from one plane to the other in a very busy way, coming and going, coming and going.
He knew he was one of the dots and that all of them, after duly receiving instructions, were kind of diving into this `below` place down there.
Foal could not see who was giving the instructions , but he knew they were the Big Teachers.
When his turn came, they explained to him how once `down there`, his job was to remember, to learn to remember, just that.

They went on warning they will send experience after experience to help him remember, and if he didn`t, they will keep sending the same experience all over again, till he did.

The little dot that was Foal felt certain he had understood all and was quite confident he could do this. Consequently he dived in, incarnating in a life again.
Once there, the little dot did get his share of `experience` , pretty heavy stuff indeed, but felt sure he had managed to learn and remember. He was actually proud he had been able to do his job as told.

Quite happy with himself he went back `Up-there`, and after a short while was sent into another life again.
This time the little dot that was Foal felt pretty cozy and smug inside, knowing that he had overcome the learning `experience` and was looking forward to having an easier life this time around.

But lo and behold! he gets himself exactly the same experience he had thought he had already mastered.
He is so disappointed and surprised at the same time, and cannot understand why.
He had definitely remembered to remember, he felt he had learned his lesson, he had gone through all the hardships and seen through them…. WHY ??
Why did he have to go through it all again ? It was totally unfair.
So when it was his time to go back `Up there` again, he rushed to his teachers and protested :
“I did all you told me to do, why did you send me the same experience all over again ?”

And so the Teachers told him :
“But you have to say it. You have to say it out loud.”

So the poor little dot dived in there again and had to go through the same experience once more, but this time he was furiously thinking and repeating to himself as if in a craze :
“ I have to say it out loud, I have to say it out loud, must remember to say it out loud, otherwise it will happen again, I don`t want it to happen again, I don`t want it to happen again !” and then he shouted, “I learned my lesson well !!”

The watching Foal could not help but laugh.
“It is so totally hilarious watching myself from above “he thought. He considered how the little dot was himself all right, but also how from this vantage point he felt some sort of distance , of space that gave him clarity.
Yet the little dot that was Foal, well, wasn`t he serious about it !!

As his time came and he had to go back “Up there” again, he ran to the Teachers and blurted out in one big breath
“ I learned, I learned my lesson well !
I learned how it is the power of experience and pain that helps us remember, no, no, rather the Power of Emotions most of all.
YES, this is what we have to learn…the Power that strong emotions generate brings us to final understanding and remembering.

And still quite breathless, Foal woke up.
Wow …this Angels` School was getting tough.
His head was in a whirlpool once again, as he was trying to make order of all the various insights flushing simultaneously his mind . His head felt tightly packed with new understandings and totally nebulous at the same time.

Then for an instant the smoggy clouds in his head parted and he saw it. Since the very first, the Angels and God Supreme Himself had been constantly asking him to state his questions out loud, just as the Teachers in the dream had instructed him to do.
Got it, he thought.
For whatever reason, it seems it is of the utmost importance to do so…
Very good to know ! it would spare him quite a few trials , but still he couldn`t grasp the reason why.
“Must remember to ask about this next time I have a chance to”, mused Foal.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

.
Foal and the Angels: Wisdom Comes Through: A Journey of Understanding
http://www.amazon.com

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INITIATION DREAM or OBE ?

pond dream painting by ANDREW BOERGER, my dear friend who paints my dreams

When I had this dream, I classified it as a dream and not an OBE, because even if I was making very lucid and rational decisions in there and had a precise agenda, it felt different from the usual OBEs in my room, where I really felt I moved as if I was completely awake. But now, after reading many posts of other fellow astral travelers, I wonder whether it was in fact an astral projection, one that I was not conscious enough to bring back as a memory.
Now I suppose that I`ll let my journal speak again .

January 22, 2008 4-4.30 am (Full Moon in Leo)

I am out in a strange land on a strange long arduous trip in the mountain woods.
We (there is group of us) have to go through many kinds of difficult tests and trials, like an initiation maybe.
There is this very big man with us, our Guide it seems, and he comes and tells me that we have passed the tests and we can go back.
And then he adds :
” But you have to meet someone before you go back.”

He explains how this was a very special Being, but that I had to be very careful, because he was easily scared and may run away.

He goes away for a few moments and comes back with a strange Being indeed, a small man, not human but alike.
He has a long face, jaw a little drooping, eyes kind of clouded, eyelids half closed. His body is a little different too. Long arms limp at his sides, trousers as long as a little below his knees and an open shirt on his bare chest, a little apish in the whole.
At first glance, he looks very shy and as if he is mentally retarded, certainly not an intelligent or smart face, quite the contrary, yet I can feel his intelligence and just seem to know in my heart he is a special Being.

I take much care in moving my arms slowly so not to scare him away, and make some light gestures to start a communication and make friends. I like this guy very much and want to communicate this feeling to him.
He is looking at me, just looking at me, me making all these gestures.
At first, no reaction at all, but then after a few moments, it seems he finally understands some of my gestures and face expressions.

All of a sudden I see his eyes brightening up in understanding .
He looks incredibly happy. He totally glows with joy.
We realize we are actually communicating in Love and friendship; I can see it from his face, and this realization makes me so happy too.
He opens his arms widely and lightly beats his chest in joy in an orangutan-ish sort of way. He gives me a huge smile and gets closer to hug me.
I hug him back in great happiness, with big pats on his back.

I very deeply know and feel I made a friend, a very special one and that I am receiving something very powerful from him.
He cannot speak, it seems, or at least it is a different language, made of some kind of grunts.
But I know it is such an honor I could make friends with him.

And now that all our trials and tests are finished and that I have met this guy, it seems we can finally go back home.

But somebody had mentioned somewhere before in the dream that a young girl had gone missing and it seems she is the daughter of the big man who is guiding us.
I don’t know why, but these words stayed in my mind.

As I am finally leaving to go back home and walking on a dirt path around this little eerie lake-pond, I see a small body floating head down in the water.

It is dark, like almost night, but I can see because of the moonlight.
I can easily see her body floating life-less or conscious-less in the far side of the pond among water plants and weeds beyond a tree which has its roots in the pond.

For a moment, bewildered, I stare at her and wonder why nobody has gone to help her, but then I realize that for some reason nobody else can see her. For one tiny fraction of a second I hesitate, I so want to go home, but I know I must do this, because I seem to be the only one who sees her. So after all it is not over yet, the biggest and hardest trial of all is still in front of me .
The last test before I can go back …

The pond with its dim light looks beautiful and eerie, but so spooky and scary at the same time, with this strange tree rooted in the waters and all the floating weeds and with the body of this girl motionless in the far side of it.

If I dive to save her, I may never be able to make it … just now that we are at the end of the journey…
I look at the pond again.
Then in one quick movement I dive and swim across the reeds and water plants, that look like weeds or kelp.

I start strongly, but after a few strokes I feel my limbs losing strength, going numb.
My arms and legs feel so heavy and it feels like I have to move tons to go forward.
Everything feels as if in slow motion and my limbs are getting heavier and heavier, as if something is strongly pulling me down underwater.
I feel the darkness there. It`s pulling at me.
My mind too starts feeling a great numbness.

I realize I’m losing consciousness and they are dragging me down in the water. It would be the end of all.
For a moment I feel like I’m letting go, it is just too much for me, I feel so tired, I want to let go and go down.
But then I see the girl right in front of me and she is so close to me, just a few strokes.

All of a sudden, I feel a spark in me, some great strength and sense of rebellion arises with a thought “No ! I won’t let them stop me !”, and I literally bounce back and start swimming with such fury, in simply an unconceivable and impossible manner from a human parameter.

I reach to the girl, haul her over my shoulders with superhuman strength, start swimming again with unbelievable power, and when I get to the fence in the middle of the pond (kind of a wooden barricade some 40-50 cm. tall), I literally throw her over it as if she weighed nothing and then haul myself over it in a display of incredible will and strength.

I know I am exhausted, but I move in a fury of Energy.
It is not human strength . It just can’t be.
I swim the last yards with the girl on my shoulder and then throw her on the shore, which becomes a house, her house.

The girl is moving, she is alive but still lying down.

Her father, our big guide, is there and is so surprised and happy.
And I feel so happy too that I had not given in and that I had made it .
I am happy I had finally believed in the power in me .

The thing is though that I know (and must have known in the dream too most probably) that the strength found in myself at the last minute (when I really thought I was going to die), was not really mine, but had come from the encounter with that special Being.

It felt like I had received this special Power from him, that it was given to me at the very end of the journey because it was the very thing I needed to overcome the final test.
But first I had to win his trust .

That was the reason why, but I’m assuming here, the Guide had told me that I had to meet somebody special before being able to go back. I truly HAD to meet him to be able to make it back .

—————————————————————————————————————

Now that I am awake I still remember vividly the dread of being pulled down and feeling my limbs go numb, losing strength.

A moment of scare, but overcome.

I remember the pond, so dark and weird and scary looking, but beautiful in its own darkness.

And the sense of euphoria and elation at the end for having made it and saved the girl.

I remember the spurt of willed up Energy with which I made the last feet to the girl and when I hauled her over the fence in the middle of the pond. I was in a frenzy, but I felt the strength and Power in me surging up.

But who was him, the special Being ??

I truly believe it was an INITIATION.
The long arduous trip, the many trials, the trust won and this special Being who gives me the last strength necessary to my last big trial, the sense of Inner Strength, the searching and the goal.
Thank you Lord for this beautiful dream.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

.
Foal and the Angels: Wisdom Comes Through: A Journey of Understanding
http://www.amazon.com

THE MUMMY AND I …a strange OBE

SCOTLAND and LONDON AUG. 2011 096

OK, as probably some of you already know from my other blog posts, my first three OBEs were a mixture of outlandish craziness and freaky attacks with a spiritual tinge.
Now let’s flash-forward some twenty OBEs or more.
After those first three incredible experiences, somehow I seemed to start developing this kind of atypical exit from the body. No sounds, no vibrations, no sleep paralysis (although I did feel indeed great pressure in the air), no foretelling or forewarning at all … just falling deep asleep and opening my eyes in a different kind of atmosphere, but always in my room. And most of the times, once `out there`, I seemed to have this propensity for looking around for lurking `non-benevolent` entities.

For reasons that I can`t fathom yet, this me in that plane (whom I called Big-She-crazy-me) seemed to be able to sense them whenever they were around.
There were times when I could actually see them as vapourish blobs sitting on my bed or in the corridor, and exuding such strong, tangible sense of malevolence that I would feel compelled to put up energy fights and try to `dissolve` them.

Now this OBE is particularly important to me because of a few new `things`that had never happened before, such as an uncommon encounter with a mummy, and meeting my husband in his etheric form too.
Now let my journal talk !
(oh, by the way, in 2008 I still had no idea that these phenomena were called OBEs – or that we had an `etheric` body or any other kind of body for that- so I called them `physical dreams`.)

May 13, 2008 1.30 am.
Physical dream
This time I didn’t even realize the moment of shift, no remembering or feeling of being sucked in, nothing. It was so real and normal. I was `there` and thought it normal, maybe I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep.
On the left side of my bed, I see/sense some kind of Energy form, although I cannot see it clearly. It’s more a sort of vaporish thing.
In all my previous experiences, these `entities` have always been negative and unpleasant, and I always had to fight them to keep them at bay.

My first reaction this time is to see if I can make a sort of normal, peaceful communication, but although I try, it remains completely still and emanates a definite sense of strong malevolence.
So I think `No way ! I`m not going to let it have its way` and then I go on saying out loud quite belligerantly “ OK, if this is how you want it …“
So, still lying in bed, but ready to start to fight, I prop myself up on my elbows and raise my hands in front of me, palms facing outwards, but somehow I feel impeded in my movements. And as I push my hands forward with greater effort, I feel something going out of them. Energy ?? don`t know, but definitely not light, rather something more substantial as … plasma ???
It must be some form of Energy and it is very strong.
As this Energy flows out of my raised hands, I can feel this ‘thing’ or entity recede little by little.
I feel relieved that it`s over so quickly, but then as I think I can get some respite, in the corner of my right eye, I glimpse a very big and white thing that seems to be suspended horizontally in the air over one side of my bed.
I try to turn my face to look better at what it is, but I realize I can’t easily turn my head to the right.

Everything is again so heavy and the air weighs tons.
Besides I am feeling tired from the first bout with the first ‘thing`’, and am not looking forward to another bout in a row.

As I finally manage to turn my head, I see a big white shape in the form of a very big man, but all covered in white bandages, from head to toe.
It is suspended horizontally as if lying down in the air on his right side, and now that I think about it (at that time I didn’t, though) it looked pretty much as one of those mummies we see in museums. It was completely covered in white bandages, I couldn’t see an inch of skin, nor eyes.

Now the funny thing is that this would totally freak me out in normal life, but here the only thing I seem to be thinking, and very nonchalantly I daresay, is that I have to fight off this one too and I don’t enjoy the prospect a bit. I feel tired. I must have used a lot of energy.
But as I start to raise my hands again, `he` extends one bandaged arm forward towards me (his right arm, I think) and leaves it there without any further movement.
In this moment I somehow realize he is trying to reassure me and is maybe asking for help … or support … anyway, he was asking for something and was not hostile. HE WAS NOT HOSTILE !!!
To me the most important thing was that he was not hostile.
IT WAS A FIRST .
So I lower my hands and he SPEAKS !!!!!!
It was a first again; it had never happened before, I was so surprised.

He says in a man’s voice and SO CLEARLY :
”I AM FI-FIAN AND I WILL TELL YOU MY STORY “
(now I think I heard Fee-fee-an, but in my first notes I wrote Fi-ni-an, so now I am a little confused, could be Fee-nian )
As I hear that, I’m happy and thrilled at the same time, and I hurry to take my notebook and pen to make sure to write everything down. (It`s incredible how consciously and lucidly I can think)
It’s amazing !! he talked to me and tried to start a communication !!!
And besides, what is even more amazing is that I do all this while asleep, as if I am awake and move as awake; most probably this time I had not even realized I was asleep or that I had made the shift at all.
To me it was absolutely happening in that moment.

He is just about to speak when my husband unexpectedly (he too in his other body) comes into my room.
He opens the door and says he wants to talk about something. I realize he is not in his real body, that he must be using this other body too, but looks so real though.

As he comes in, `they` disappear in a moment. Then my husband sits on the bed and starts talking to me. I make a joke and pat him on the chest lightly (and could feel it as if in physical reality), and I woke up.
Quite astonishingly later on in the morning at around 6.30 am., he actually came into my room and told me exactly the same thing. EXACTLY THE SAME THING !!! Wow!

As I asked him if he had come around 2 am. to talk to me, he said absolutely not and that I must be joking (!!!!)
So it seems he has no idea he was in another body, he has no recollection at all … then maybe most people are too, when they are sleeping, and just don’t know about it.

This has been extraordinary in many ways.
The first time one of `them` tried to make a decent communication, and then my husband coming into this world too (but apparently he doesn’t know it. It was in another reality that all this happened)
Again this was a typhoon night, very heavy rain. Is it easier for these things to happen in stormy nights for some reason ??
Many of these physical dreams actually happened during typhoons nights.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

.
Foal and the Angels: Wisdom Comes Through: A Journey of Understanding
http://www.amazon.com

“Sharing your Light” Archangel Chamuel , from FOAL and the Angels

1017431_10203229649811503_698768169_n PHOTOGRAPHY BY RACHEL BURCH http://www.rachelburchphotography.com/

“Sharing your Light, Foal.
What Humans are supposed to do on Earth , share their Light.
And make it ONE.
With such great Resonance that all Universe will be witness to it.

Share your Light with the small and the big, the good and the bad, the base and the lofty.
SHARE YOUR LIGHT.

Humans are mostly concerned with talking of sharing, but rarely do they truly share.
You still don’t see that Light is Information and brings Information.
In sharing Light, you will be sharing Information with All.
You all miss the point in trying to control.
You can never control the Light of another, yet you can share it.”

Foal listened, spellbound.
The Archangel pronounced these last words with such ineffable beauty, Foal felt instantly and totally entranced.
The Great Angel continued:

“God’s Breath is Light .
When Light was infused into your cells, you came to be.
The spark of Life into the cells is Light.
Light is part of your Soul.

Little brains think themselves big.
But the real Source is not in the brain.
The real Source is the Light you hold inside.
The Light you emanate in every action, in every word, in every thought you generate.

Talk to me in the great Silence of your Soul.
Where I come from, you come from.
It is the Source, the very Beginning , the very End.
It is the Soul of the Universe.
It gives Life to All.
It is the Wind of the Universe.
It gives power as energy to all.

Each little rock, meteor, comet.
All is pulsating with Life.
The Breath of the Universe pulsating into it.
The Prana of the Soul, the Prana of Spirit is in everything, EVERYWHERE.

The Life you have in you is part of the Life of All.
It is yours, but not only yours.
It is yours, but it is shared by All.

I am a field of Energy and I have always been around.
I have known you forever and you know who I AM. “

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

.
Foal and the Angels: Wisdom Comes Through: A Journey of Understanding
http://www.amazon.com

The Angel of Compassion (from FOAL and the Angels)

FoalFoto4PHOTOGRAPHY BY RACHEL BURCH  http://www.rachelburchphotography.com/

“Foal, heed what is being said.
Come to the Love spot in your Heart, where your Soul breathes.
Where God is there for you and you are there for God, and Divinity becomes One again.
I bring you a message of Compassion.
Compassion for the family around you, for the friends around you and for those not around you, for the people who must suffer and for the people who make suffer, for the whole world.

Open your Heart to needs untold. Open your Soul to demands of Love.
Open your Higher Self to yourself.
The Compassion you have, let it flow, and let it flow close, before it goes far.

Bleeding Compassion springing forth to another Being.
The Blood is the Seed. The bleeding heart sows beautiful seeds in the land.
Its vibration reaches down, density lifts up.
A bleeding heart is not all about suffering.
A bleeding heart bears the Child of Compassion.
From those blood-drops, flowers spring and quench their thirst.
Do not be afraid of pain. It is only a façade. IT IS NOT PAIN.
It is a facet of Love, the Love of God.

A good life is not free of pain and worries.
A good life is full of these and their solutions.
In the finding of the solutions, you find your Evolution.

Astonishing is the Power of Love and the Light it sheds on the people it touches.
Cherish others for the wonderful Beings of Light they are.
See them with your shining eyes for the Light they hold inside.
Respect the Being of Light hidden in that clothing of flesh.
So you can mirror your Light one into the other and know.
Do not let yourself see yourself as you are, because you are not.
You are not what you see.

Human perception will see the human you. Divine perception sees the Divine you.
This is how God sees you. This is how God trusts you.
This is how God put Faith in you and gave you Life.

Life is a deed of Trust.
God trusted you with LIFE, Foal.
You were born because you were trusted.

Thus answer that Trust and trust the Love of God that makes you move, that makes you think and feel.
And rejoice in that Trust, in that Love.
Feel the Love in the form of Joy, rejoice in the Joy.”

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

.
Foal and the Angels: Wisdom Comes Through: A Journey of Understanding
http://www.amazon.com

How Many Me-s in the Astral ?

10300268_10152107654121623_2562093836954358737_n PHOTOGRAPHY BY RACHEL BURCH http://www.rachelburchphotography.com/

A FEW REFLECTIONS BASED JUST ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

I would like to call attention to the fact that both in dreams and OBEs, at least for me, there seems to be almost always a watching me and an acting me. Well, actually and to be precise, there are many more MEs than I could reckon. Let me explain.

In a dream, the easier count would be: the sleeping me, the dreaming me, the watching me and the acting me. But why do I have this feeling that there are many more?
For instance, I was dreaming once that I fell asleep in a car and had a dream (in the car), in fact a precognitive dream that told me what the end of the dream would be. So should I also count the sleeping me and the dreaming me inside the dream…??
That is a crowd, you say, (for sure), but somehow, and incredibly so, it does totally corroborate my experiences in the astral.

Apart from the fact that it can be a little confusing, it is, on the other hand, also great food for thought. We are definitely not what we think we are, and definitely not just what we see with our physical eyes. We are truly multi-dimensional beings !

Now, if we want to talk more specifically of the various me-s during an OBE, I must first draw your attention to the fact that in a way, it feels like there is some sort of `aware` distance between them … like, despite being different bodies, they are kind of aware of each other.
What I noted is that there is at least a me SLEEPING, a me ACTING, a me OBSERVING and also a me KNOWING IT IS ASLEEP (…at least one of us is certainly asleep, but which me it is, I am afraid I am not sure anymore…).

As I mentioned in other posts, when I find myself out-of-body, I tend to act as this fierce and focused being that I call Big/She/Crazy/Me, because from the `observing-tiny-me` view-point, she truly acts in baffling ways and does things I would not care to do. She mystifies me and at times scares me with her boldness.
She seems to have this knack for behaving in an utterly perplexing, crazy, daring and un-sensible manner most of the times. And she freaks me out. She does. She does, because she seems to be on this mission of looking around for ghostly-negative-energies in the astral, challenging them out and thrashing them, if they don’t accept to go to the Light.
So can you see now how for one like me, who had never believed in ghosts, this kind of behavior is totally horrifying? (although later on, I must admit it `saved` me many times, but this is another story for another time)

Invariably, the more `normal` and commonsensical observing-tiny-me, who – in spite of itself – has to witness all of her `big` antics, grows perturbed and wants to wake up before, you know, things start to turn reeeaally bad … like really, really bad ! 🙂

Many times I found myself squirming/observing and worrying myself to death, yelling at her in my mind : “What are you doing? don’t mess with them ! let them be! are you out of your mind??…are you out of your mind??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ???”

Yes, hilarious as it may sound, I find myself yelling at her `ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?` while I am actually `OUT OF MY BODY`…………………………..
( lol, what is left of me ??… 🙂 )

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Foal and the Angels

“Big-She-Crazy-Me” Unafraid in the Astral !

As I have already mentioned in my other posts, my out of body experiences, especially the first ones, were no bed of roses. Reading my journal posts may even feel altogether terrifying. Well, after all, I was being attacked most of the times by not very friendly or benevolent entities, right? And if it had been a movie (horror movie for sure!) I would probably be squirming in my seat almost all of the time!

But not `SHE`!! This `she` who is `me`, this she/me in the astral would take no b…t, not for a second.
She would even go further and challenge these unfriendly entities out, and eventually have `energy fights` with them, or at other times she would try to enticingly talk to them about taking them to the Light, or at other times again she would say, rather shout, inspiring words to them such as `Love is God ` !!

In waking up, I could never believe my audacity `in there`! Nonetheless both the insane challenges and the beautiful statements of Love never failed to blow my mind away!
Was I really saying those things? Was I really doing those things? How could she be really me … and yet she was! I just couldn’t wrap my scattered brains around the fact that this she/me in there was always so strong, so fearless, and yes, courageous almost to the point of recklessness.

I started calling her the Big/She/Crazy/Me, because that was the only definition that could come close to describing her.
There was this huge gap between the she/me in there, and the little me in the awake/normal world. For truly inexplicable reasons, she never seemed to be afraid of what, according to my saner and more sensible little self ( 🙂 ), she should. She simply seemed to know that these `things` had no power over her.

And how can I explain this … in a way, it always felt like she was on a true mission that I didn’t seem to understand well. But I owe her a lot, actually I owe her more than I could ever say; the fact that she always remained focused and not scared at all by these inexplicable attacks really saved my mind.
And I truly mean this. You see, this kind of experiences, if they become extreme, as they became for me in 2007 during an illness that left me bed-ridden for three months, can really lead to mental insanity.

2007 was actually my fourth year of out of body experiences, although I didn`t understand what they were yet (and although, mind you!, not all OBEs are scary experiences!!). And in that summer I found myself in desperate need for help. Possibly because of my illness and subsequent low physical energy, I really can’t say for sure, my OBEs became uncontrollable and full of bullying attacks, like every night and of the spookiest sort. And for the first and only time Big/She/Crazy/Me seemed not to be able to cope too well. (and I will talk about this in more details in future posts; it needs to be talked about)

Honestly, if I had not had my family and my spiritual beliefs to support and anchor me, it could have really proved to be more than my mind could endure. Of course the best help and quickest solution would have been to have somebody explain it to me. But I didn’t have that good fortune until 2009.

In point of fact, and I remember this very clearly, one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind during those dreadful three months of astral bully was `Oh! The poor people in the loony!`.
I just couldn’t help thinking how maybe many of the poor people confined to such places could have really been merely hearing and seeing things that others couldn’t, exactly as I was. And I could too easily understand how without support, they may have gone mad. But I was sure I was NOT INSANE. I was sure there was something else going on, something I could not control or understand well enough to logically and rationally explain to others (or to myself for that). But I was a grounded person and I had a sound and no-nonsensical mind, and I absolutely knew I was not a nut case for the mad-house!

Amongst all this, the blessing was that my family, in spite of the fact that they could not of course understand what was really going on, trusted my judgment and helped me recover physically, which turned out to be all I needed for Big/She/Crazy/Me to get back her strength and blow the astral bullies away. And this is not a metaphor! In my first OBE after getting back on my feet, she literally blew them away … from the palm of her hand … a soft blow and they dispersed! It was a glorious day ! 
As strength came back, I found myself able to control my fear better, especially since my best ally, this strong she/me, seemed to be back and thriving again.
From this experience I came to the conclusion that a debilitated and weak physical self does not help in the astral. But I may be totally wrong here, and it may be different for each person.

Well, fear cannot be erased totally in one stroke, but with the passing of years and the gathering of more knowledge it did gradually subside. I became more confident and more used to the astral phenomena and, most of all, I took part in one of William Buhlman`s workshops, and that made a huge difference. I finally understood what was happening, and knew what to do ! Knowledge is power indeed.

One last but important consideration before closing is that, beside the help of my family, one really BIG element played a great part in helping me stay sane and overcome fear during those experiences. It was this strong sense of spirituality, profound spirituality that, despite all, I could feel present there, although it eluded me in its greatness. And I will be talking about this for sure in my next posts. It is a huge and often underrated and maybe not enough appreciated aspect of the OOB experience.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

Interview with Foal and the Angels, by Denise Barry

wild_garlic_denham_woods Photography by RACHEL BURCH http://www.rachelburchphotography.com/

This post will not be about OBEs, but about my little, beloved book, FOAL and the Angels. After reading it, Denise Barry contacted me and asked me if we could do an interview. I was on cloud nine…it was FOAL`s first interview ever! I really enjoyed doing it and am forever grateful to Denise for this (please go check Denise Barry`s info at the bottom of this page! she is an incredible inspirational writer and children`s books author:-) )

So here is how Denise starts, before getting into the interview itself (I LOVE how she writes!) :

Have you ever met a complete stranger and felt an instant liking for them? Maybe you can’t put a finger on why though. Was it their smile? Was it something they said? Could you have known them in a past life?

Who knows! There’s just a connection we share with certain people, and it doesn’t happen often.

This is how I felt when I met my friend “FOAL”. The crazy thing is that I actually haven’t met her in person yet, since she lives in Japan and I live in New York. We were in an international online meditation group together and chatted via Facebook here and there, so the connection we made was only through the written word. I guess “voices carry” through sheer energy!

As it turns out, she became one of the most influential people in my life.

How can someone I never even met in person have such an impact in my life?

Well, I learned that by following my intuition, I draw good things into my life. Because I felt a connection to “FOAL”, when she asked me to like her Facebook page she had set up for a book she wrote, I did. That was easy enough, of course. What’s one click going to cost me anyway? But I took it a step further, thinking I was being nice and wanting to do her a favor – I actually bought the book from Amazon! And then, I read it!

Wow, this was above and beyond the call of duty from one stranger to another!

By the time I finished reading her book (I couldn’t put it down and read it in 3 nights!) I felt completely humbled. It was she who had done me the favor.

Her book rang of Truth. Make that boomed…it boomed of Truth. I literally devoured every single word, because each one mattered. Each word resonated through me like the vibration of a drum. It was everything I was looking for, without knowing what it was I was looking for. Something within me shifted and I saw Life in a different way. It became much clearer, things made more sense, I felt safe. All the things I was confused about; what It’s all about, why we suffer, are we alone, does any of this mean anything….so many questions! It was a balm for my mind and soul.

I’ve been inspired to step outside of my comfort zone because of this new shift inside of me and am starting a project I’ve only dreamed of in the past! I feel like I have nothing to lose anymore! It involves my first love and will require an enormous amount of work! (I will share soon!).

Like Martin Luther King Jr., “FOAL” had a dream….but literally. And many of them. It is based on her actual experience.

When I asked her why she shared her experience and what she hopes others will gain from it, she said, “you have no idea how I hope for it to be read by as many people as possible. And not because it is self- gratifying, but just because I know I must share it, I know it has an intrinsic power to heal and help, and such power doesn’t come from me. It could be so easily used as a tool to understand life better, to understand oneself better and to realize there is a possibility to communicate with this other dimension that is within us”.

I would like you to hear more about this book as it should be told; in “FOAL’s” voice. My hope is that you will benefit from it as much as I have….

heart of an angel

An Interview with the author of “FOAL and the Angels” 

DB: You wrote a book, “FOAL and the Angels”, based on your own experiences. Kind of a spiritual journey, so to speak?

Author: Yes! Throughout a number of years I had dreams, and in these dreams I was given insights and intensive lessons on the meaning of life.

What I describe in the book is almost exactly how it happened, or at least how it was felt and registered in my mind. Nothing could be truer to me than this experience; nothing could be more real to me. It was an intensive course of wisdom, imparted through dreams, messages, and voices. I call it “Angels School” because I was being guided by what can only be called Angels.

I chose to speak through “FOAL”, a little boy who wants answers to the mysteries of Life! All of his ten thousand questions get answered through the unfolding of his dreams. This is a fairytale. But a true one.

DB: Why do you think you had these dreams? Why were you “the one”? Do you feel special?

Author: No, no, no! I was never the ONE!! That is exactly what I wanted to avoid! That is why I chose the fairytale format and a pseudonym. I didn’t want it to be about the messenger, but the MESSAGE.

I am FOAL. So are you. FOAL can be anyone!

This can sound a bit trite and cliché, but really, and I mean, REALLY, there is such possibility of contact with other dimensions in all and each one of us. It is all about listening, and honing that listening.

At the end of the day, (you don’t even need to give the Angels a name if it doesn’t agree with you), you can call it the voice of your conscience, the little voice inside, that everybody has. Even atheists!

And if it happened to a person like me, not in the least special (a.k.a. FOAL), it can happen to anybody. That is the message I wanted to convey.

As for why I started receiving those dreams when I did, that is something I am still far from understanding. I assume, and only assume, it is for karmic reasons. Some bigger picture that I cant see, I guess.

DB: When you began having the dreams what made you realize they were important?

Author: Well, that was not difficult. When you have these kinds of powerful dreams, they become to you more real than ‘real’ life itself. You don’t just see the dream, you experience it. There is no way you can doubt it.

And there were so many more stunningly beautiful dreams than I could ever put into Foal`s story. At times I would have 5 or 6 dreams per night; it was exhausting, but always exhilarating. I remember a few times I wished I could sleep 24 hours a day just to be able to dream!

On the other hand, the doubt/problems arose with the messages and voices in my head while I was awake. There I had a hard time casting my doubts away. The thought that it could be all just in my head, pure imagination, was always there. Although at the end it didn’t matter anymore. They were real enough to me, and what I was hearing was just too profoundly wise and beautiful to come from me.

But even after making peace with myself, to make the decision of sharing this with others…well, THAT was a big, big obstacle to overcome, and it took me many years to get there.

DB: How has this experience changed you and your life?

Author: Well, although the sense of Bliss and perfection does fade away, the realization of the ‘knowing’ inside stays and this I can’t explain. I don’t think I have any doubt anymore about our true selves or life after death. I see the world in another way now, definitely, and I do feel I have a deeper understanding of Life, but no, I am not saved from my ego. The lessons continue, I will fall again into its daily traps, but there is some more `noticing` on my part, or how can I say…a becoming more conscious about how I want to live.

DB: Are you afraid to die? Were you afraid before these dreams occurred?

Author: Not really to die, but I am definitely afraid of pain. So yes, I do fear a painful dying process, but not death itself. Not anymore.

DB: Who/What do you feel orchestrated these experiences?

Author: How could I know!! Maybe ‘we’ do, before incarnating!

I understand how it would be intriguing to know who orchestrated this, but I don’t feel it is so important to know now. They just happened and that is what I must focus on.

DB: Do you believe in God? If not, what?

Author: Oh, yes! That, I do!

DB: Did you believe in something different before the dreams?

Author: I was raised Catholic, so I shared many of the Church`s beliefs, although I questioned many of those very beliefs for many years. But after the dreams and voices, I felt liberated by many unnecessary rules. All seemed to be so much more simple.

DB: Do you think our existence as a human being is an illusion? Is this life an illusion?

Author: I am in no position to give you a correct answer to that. Maybe a sort of dream?? Or a reverse out-of-body experience?? An ‘into-body’ experience?! Or experiencing existence in another dimension??

But really these are just thoughts, and am not sure I believe them myself.

You know, I am not really that much interested anymore in what I believe, but rather in taking what comes as it comes, and experiencing it and appreciating it. But most of all, in trying not to ‘label’ experiences into beliefs!

Beliefs can change, the experience remains. What I mean is: whatever I (or you or anybody else) may believe about this experience, the experience would not change anyway, would remain a part of my life.

DB: Do you live any differently than before the dreams? Are you calmer, happier, less confused about things? ARE YOU ENLIGHTENED, like the Buddha?

Author: You must be kidding me! Enlightened! NO! But I know now that that is what I am seeking. Or at least to get as close to it as I can. And, yes, less confused, certainly.

DB: The illustrations on your Facebook page are beautiful…did you do them?

Author: No, my friend and artist, Andy Boerger, made them for me. I really wanted my readers to have an idea of how I saw ‘things’ in my dreams, so I thought the only way I could communicate visually with FOAL`s readers was to post on Facebook these beautiful pictures.

I set up a FOAL and the Angels fan page for this reason.

Nevertheless, however good the pictures may be, this reality cannot compare with ‘that’ one. The colors are so much more ‘alive’ in there, with a life of its own. And the sense of Love exuding from everything is ‘unspeakable’ and ‘un-paintable’.

DB: Before we close, is there anything more you want to say to our friends?

Author: OK…I can’t say of course if it will live up to your expectations, but I can say it is an easy read, it will flow smoothly, yet at the same time will make you stop to ponder on the simple “down-to-earth-and-up-to-the-sky” wisdom so gently imparted (of course this is the part which is not mine, the Angels` part!). I do not have such wisdom in myself…). It helped me a lot in living my life, and my greatest hope is that it may help you too in some unfathomable ways.

It is a story of how dreams and ‘messages’ led me on a spiritual journey. I felt this need to put it out in the world, not because it is unique, which it’s not (all these things must have been said over and over again in the centuries), but because it is so un-academic in style, that just anybody can easily read it and possibly gain some drops of wisdom out of it … just as I did. And my final words would be : “Looking forward to your feedback!!”.

DB: “FOAL”, I thank you for touching my life so deeply, with your words and your presence. Much Love, Denise

DENISE BARRY

Denise Barry is an inspirational writer and author. Her new children’s book What Does the Tooth Fairy Do with Our Teeth? is available now.
Denise loves writing for kids because she thinks like one, and what else is there to do during the wintry months in Buffalo, NY where she lives with her husband, two kids and dog?
Denise is also a co-writer in the best-selling book Watch Her Thrive: Stories of Hope, Courage and Strength, and you can find her essays on high traffic websites like positivelypostiive.com, manifeststation.com, notsalmon.com, empoweringparents.com, dirtygirlmudrun, etc.
To learn more about Denise visit her website at http://www.denisebarry.net
Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

Deciphering the Mystery of OBE-s

1476401_673797325993702_1556570698_n photography by RONALD SIERA

My first experiences of unsolicited and totally out of control astral projections left me scared, puzzled and confused to the extreme. Not understanding what this phenomenon was and not daring to tell anyone for lack of words or maybe for abundance of fear, I found myself spending more and more time alone trying to figure out the whole thing and considering what my future perspectives were. What was this? a sign of impending disease, or an early sign of dementia? If something else, will I be able to control it one day? Will I be able to overcome the fear I always feel in waking up? Will this go on happening forever? And, by the way, most of all, for God`s sake, what IS this ???

Well, these were but a few of the perturbing questions that were afflicting my mind some ten years ago when all this started. And my mind would be buzzing all day and night with this impenetrable and inexplicable thought `They are not dreams, but I am asleep.`…  How can I move if I am asleep?  Hamlet`s dilemma seemed small in comparison to mine.

In order to cope better with my lack of understanding and ensuing fear, I knew I had to provide these mysterious occurrences with some sort of reference or identity. Yes, I needed to classify them as best , or as worst, I could. So I decided to give them a name and came up with the term “physical dreams”. Physical because they were so tangible, and dreams because, if I was asleep, what else could I call them?

I also knew that, to pacify my befuddled mind so it could come to terms with its very perplexed self, I had to find an explanation of some sort … of any sort.  I thought I may start by trying to find a recurrent pattern, like maybe it was something in my diet or in my daily life that was triggering them, but, for the love of me, I couldn’t. It all seemed so without any plan or structure. I had noticed though, that, despite the dissimilarities, in each and every one of them there were definitely elements in common.  So I decided to try to single out these elements and make a list, and then see if I could come up with some sort of answer closer  to my intellectual appreciation.

And so I did. I made a list of these repeating elements and also added a few personal reflections on what were my feelings and perceptions when I was `in there` (sorry for this poor and inadequate description of other dimensions, but at that time I didn’t know any better…). And I called it `the Shift`.  Here is what I wrote:

THE SHIFT

1. Unlike normal dreams, I am always in my bed (when it starts), usually same position I fell asleep.

2. I am aware I am asleep but move around with what seems to be my body (which is  supposed to be asleep in bed). 

3. 90% of the times it happens right after I go to bed (around midnight). Feels like: I close my eyes, I open my eyes and there I am.

4. The air feels thick, different, oppressive feeling. Many times  at first it takes me a lot of energy to start moving my limbs. Like cutting through thick, dense, almost solid air. Feeling of being pressed down by heavy air or … energy??  Yet sometimes I can move at lightning speed ! and can touch and move things around and feel everything as if I were touching them with my physical body (which can`t be , because I can see me asleep…)

5. I am totally conscious and focused, more than I am in normal/awake life.

6. Gap between this `me` in there, and the usual `me` is profound.

7. This she/me seems to be much more powerful  than my `usual` me, doesn`t seem to be afraid of what I would actually be terrified of.

8. I don’t seem to be afraid in there, but I am in waking up. don’t want to fall asleep again (because I know I would be drawn back `in there` in the split of a second).

My mind loved making the list. I guess it felt a bit as if it was back in control, but not for long. Come next `Shift`, and everything was out of control again. So what was I able to make out of the list? Absolutely nothing. I was back to square one. I had no clue. But I knew it was imperative I found a way out from , if not these occurrences, at least, from the fear. Or I may lose my mind.

P.S. In my next posts, for those interested, I `ll speak more specifically about the sense of dread that can be present in the astral and how I coped with it. And how eventually I overcame my fear.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels

So how did the Angels come by and whisper in my head ??

CIMG3443

Well, this is a tricky subject, because many people don’t believe in Angels or in the possibility that they talk to us in various ways.
Yet, I must report the experience how it happened or, if you prefer, how it was felt and lived by me.
In my book FOAL and the Angels I wrote about how dreams and messages from the Angels led me on a spiritual path and on adventures (…spiritual adventures :-)) I would never have thought possible.
I called it Angels` school, simply and mainly because I happen to come from a Christian country and tradition, but this is just a word, like many others, and I dare say it is most certainly not how `they` call themselves when they communicate with each other . Besides, if I were Muslim, or Hindu or Shintoist, I would be calling it in a different way anyhow.
I think that every culture on this earth has a particular name for these `essences` or `energy beings` or whatever terminology we may like to use when referring to what/who generally goes by the term of `Angels`.
Maybe they have no name, or maybe they have names that we cannot even actually pronounce, or cannot even start to imagine, because they are so out of our dimension of life that we cannot fathom their true reality…
But however we may call them, my personal experience taught me that they can and actually are willing to communicate with us, if we open our hearts up, and leave the doubts behind.
And this is what is most important of all.

So, going back to our title, ‘How did the Angels come by and whisper in my head ??`, I don’t even remember exactly how it started, but I do recall it was just a few words at first. Then maybe more acceptance on my part made it possible for the deluge of words to start cascading into my sleepy head. And when I say deluge, I actually mean it. I was being overwhelmed with sentence after sentence of such beauty and wisdom I knew it could not possibly come from my own messed-up mind. And these words whispered in my head by unfathomable Beings were literally cascading in my mind at such speed that I had a hard time keeping up writing all down. At times I was compelled to skip words, just to be able to catch the next sentence.
Every night, I would arm myself with pen and paper, and, groggily lying down on my bed, would wait for the symphony to start. And together with the words, the feeling of Love, of great, warm Love would pour in. It was more beautiful than I could ever tell, and yet, more times than I care to remember, I fell asleep on that very notebook with only but a few sentences jotted down, just for waking up in the morning bashing myself for my ludicrous inadequacy. The regret I always felt for having lost some of the angelic words was more than I could sometimes bear.
It was impossible or at least inconceivable to me that all these words of pages and pages and pages of transcended sublime Love could have come from my own little-and-not-so-wise mind. Or well, if they had (and who am I to say ??!!), it must then be from that part of us who is an Angel or close in essence to an Angel, what I hear is often called The Higher Self.

But in spite of all this, in spite of all the beauty, of all the Love and wisdom, doubts found a way in.
Doubts always find a way in, it seems, and inevitably flooded my mind and sometimes overwhelmed my senses. And that was pure misery. I felt lost and afraid I would not be able or allowed to hear the `words ` again. But a pure heart asking humbly for help is never ignored by such Beings. Despite the utmost inadequacy of my meager self, despite all the doubts crippling me at times, `they` still kept coming in.

I did insert many of these messages in my book FOAL and the Angels, yet they are but a tiny fragment of the thousands of pages I actually wrote down in the span of 6-7 years.
That was the time when, together with these angelic messages, I started to have totally unexpected out of body experiences and dreams, dreams, dreams…exquisite dreams, the most impossibly beautiful dreams. It was 2004, and all the wonder I was left with, after the beauty of the dreams and the insanity of the OBEs faded, well, all that wonder led me to a spiritual awakening that changed my life for sure.

Click on the image to read about Foal and the Angels on Amazon.

Foal and the Angels